[a.new.beginning]

It's 6 AM, and obviously I can't sleep. It's been a while since I've had decent night. I'm in Montréal, and the weather is shitty. On Tuesday it was sunny and hot :P but since yesterday, ugh, the rain keeps on pourring. Exactly like home. This trip was supposed to be my last. That was the reason for my letter. As the day got by, I say my goodbyes to everyone, eyes filled with tears, reminiscing the memories. Then a new lady approched me with a new reseach. A follow up that will extend on 5 years and maybe more in the future. This was the door I was looking for. An extension! After crying and making everybody cry all day, we rejoiced that this wasn't the last goodbye we thought it was. So we're leaving this afternoon, I have a appointment at the Neurological Institute at McGill for a CT scan. I hope the find something new so they can at least try to find a alternative to fix what's wrong with me. Oh and at the Shriners they decided to gave me another treatment, ZOL, i like the name because it makes me think of ZOD in superman hahaha. I know Geeky me! So as I look back at all the good years I've had here, i think about the new 5 years. Will they be as wonderful as the last ones. I sure hope so. No more goodbyes, only Hellos

[one.last.time - Integral Edition]

NOTA : This was writing 6 months ago…

Hi :)

This is an important message from Bernard Albert Theriault.

I'm writing this out of nowhere. I think it's more like a thank you note for everything you've done for me over the past ten years or more. In 6 months, the day I fear will happen, my last visit at the Shriners. I've dread that day since I turned 17. Saying goodbye to most of you will probably kill me. Every time I think about it, tears fill my eyes. I feel like a part of me will die or like losing a limb. I've been going to the Shriners since 1995. 16 years. And I never regretted or feared any visit, operation or treatment. Going to the Shriners was like going to Disney Land for me. The people I met there are filled with so much love, richness, joy, etc. the list could go on forever. The people there made me what I am today, the amazing person that I became. I hear a lot of them saying they can’t be friends because of the job. But no matter what they say, they became friend in spite of it all. Everyone touched me in a way they cannot imagine. I sometime wonder if my life would be the same if I haven’t got the luck of meeting all of you. And every time I think about it, the same answer comes to mind: never. Never would I have the strength and self-esteem I have today without you guys. All these years, I’ve learned so much from you. I know it’s time to move on. I see children saying to their parents that they don’t want to go to the hospital; I stop and think if I ever said or thought that. Never. That’s go for the Shriners, obviously. It’s hard saying everything I want to say in this letter. There’s so much more. Knowing it’s the last time I’ll see most of you breaks my heart. You’re the ones, beside my parents, that believe in me and that encourage me to continue. You’re the ones that had hope in me, that make me want to continue and not give up. You were there for the most difficult time of my life, holding my hand. I have a hard time writing this without letting the tears fall down. Right now, that 21 years old policy is making my life a living hell. I’ve never wanted this to end. But I guess all good things come to an end.

Everyone at the Shriners had their take in helping me, even the one I’ve never met. All the nurses, who kept smiling at me, giving me hope. The Physio and Ergo team, that were there holding my hand, and making me break all my barriers, making me push my limits and believing in me. The Doctors, Glorieux and Fassier and the rest of the team, that help me get better, making me walk thanks to their ingenious ways. The Radiology team always had the word to make me laugh and smile no matter what the situation was. The “PARC” and school team, Angie, Dominic, Marie, Maria and the others, that made my stay at the Shriners a magical one each time. The Administration team, Audrea Smith, Rose-Marie, Marie-Claire, Josée Perron, and every ones else helped me in so many ways. To all of you I say Thank you. You all deserve more than a mere thank you. Without you, Shriners Hospital for Children wouldn’t be what it is today: a kingdom of hope for every child that is sick, a fun place to recover from everything, a place where they can be there self and a place where they are free.

I hope this letter reaches everyone at the Shriners. If you don’t remember my name, I was number 20000 before the system changed. I would appreciate if you reply to this personally.

I hope seeing you all in 6 months (16 June 2010), and again, THANK YOU.

With love, Bernard Albert Theriault

[one.last.time]

Well, this is it. Next week will be my last trip to the Shriners Hospital in Montreal. Fear. That's the only word I can think about when I think about next week. I've been thinking about this moment since i turned 17. I knew by the age of 21 the end would come, but I didn't think it would come this fast. The people up there are like a second family for me. They've been part of my life fo the past 15-16 years. That hospital wasn't like any other hospital. For me it was a vacation. A place to be me. A place where no judgement are made. I'm in forever debt to the people i've meet there. They're the one who made me believe that there was something else to life. Hope for me. I've meet so many incredible people. They weren't just doing their job. They cared for you. 

I feel like a part of me will die or like losing a limb. I've been going to the Shriners since 1995. 16 years. And I never regretted or feared any visit, operation or treatment. Going to the Shriners was like going to Disney Land for me. The people I met there are filled with so much love, richness, joy, etc. the list could go on forever. The people there made me what I am today. The amazing person that I became. I hear a lot of them saying they can’t be friends because of the job. But no matter what they say, they became friend in spite of it all. Everyone touched me in a way they cannot imagine. I sometime wonder if my life would be the same if I haven’t got the luck of meeting all of them. And every time I think about it, the same answer comes to mind: never. Never would I have the strength and self-esteem I have today without these people. All these years, I’ve learned so much from them. I know it’s time to move on. I see children saying to their parents that they don’t want to go to the hospital; I stop and think if I ever said or thought that. Never. That’s go for the Shriners, obviously. Knowing it’s probably the last time I’ll see most of them breaks my heart. They're the ones, beside my parents, that believe in me and that encourage me to continue. They're the ones that had hope in me, that make me want to continue and not give up. They were there for the most difficult time of my life, holding my hand. I have a hard time writing this without letting the tears fall down. I’ve never wanted this to end. But I guess all good things come to an end.

Everyone at the Shriners had their take in helping me, even the one I’ve never met. All the nurses, who kept smiling at me, giving me hope. The Physio and Ergo team, that were there holding my hand, and making me break all my barriers, making me push my limits and believing in me. The Doctors, Glorieux and Fassier and the rest of the team, that help me get better, making me walk thanks to their ingenious ways. The Radiology team always had the word to make me laugh and smile no matter what the situation was. The “PARC” and school team, Angie, Dominic, Marie, Maria and the others, that made my stay at the Shriners a magical one each time. The Administration team, Audrea Smith, Rose-Marie, Marie-Claire, Josée Perron, and every ones else helped me in so many ways. To all of them I say Thank you. They all deserve more than a mere thank you. Without them, Shriners Hospital for Children wouldn’t be what it is today: a kingdom of hope for every child that is sick, a fun place to recover from everything, a place where they can be there self and a place where they are free.